Random

This morning, after dropping my daughter off at daycare (a process which takes no less then 20 minutes), I sat in my car in my work parking lot. As I reached into the passenger seat to gather my slew of bags for the day, I inadvertently looked down at my lap and noticed something strange.

I saw a seam. I actually looked closer with disbelief, that not only did I not notice I was wearing my skirt INSIDE OUT, but my husband didn't notice either. I had encountered I don't know how many people at daycare looking a fool. However, being parents, I'm sure they understood.

So there I sat in the work parking lot, now knowing I HAD to go inside wearing my skirt inside out. I even debated for a millisecond whether or not it was possible to correct my wrong in my car. Not possible. Hahahaha!

The plight of a working mother and wife

As my daughter nears the one year mark, I feel a need to document some of the things I've felt since her birth. At a time in my life that I felt I truly knew who I was and what I wanted in and out of my life, the birth of my child, and returning to work, have flipped me upside down. I never knew I could love so fully or feel so vulnerable. I've got a handle on things, but it's been a journey and it's constantly changing.

My list of worries and concerns in no typical order:

• Do I advocate for her as best as I can?
• Am I neglecting my husband?
• Am I neglecting myself?
  
• How do I balance mother and wife and what is left of me anyways?
• Is my relationship coming second, when I always swore it would come first?
• Why, when I love my daughter and cherish the moments with her, do I actually look forward to alone time?
• Should I feel guilty about all these questions?
• When this should be (and is) the happiest and most rewarding time in my life, why do I find myself smiling less?
  
• Would she be behind if I stayed at home?
• Does she get the attention she needs and deserves (both at home and daycare)?
• Am I falling behind in my career because I've settled into a non-demanding and uncreative position? Should I care that I might be?
  
• Why can't I just let her be who she is and not fret over every little thing she may behind on?
• Should I feel bad that I look forward to going to work at the end of the weekend?
• Should I feel bad that I'm looking forward to giving up breastfeeding?
• Why don't I take care of myself the way I used to?
  
• Do I feed her as much variety as I could/should?
• Does she get what she needs from me?
• Is any or some of how I've felt even remotely normal?

Not news to me

Not to follow a gripe post with another gripe post, but is it me or do we have the crappiest morning news in the country? Post-child, I do not have time to get my news online or read the paper. Therefore, I'm reduced to 5 minutes of news in the morning as I eat my bowl of cereal. I typically watch ABC, but am occasionally treated to CBS (heh). So far this week I've been treated to:

1. A tabloid publishing a story about a professional golfer screwing some cocktail waitress.
2. Whatever schmuck was eliminated from dancing with the stars.
3. Navigating the channel's website. Seriously do I need to watch you surf your own site? Brian Schrader please stick to the traffic.

I know there's more, but they aren't coming to mind right now.

And while I'm at it, can someone please get Elizabeth Gardner a new wardrobe that isn't centered around shoulder pads and gigantic collars? I'm no slave to fashio, but DAMN. At least she's got good personality and seems knowledgeable.

Candy corn coma

Help me. I swear I only ate like 10. The thing is, that I wasn't even really impressed with the first couple I ate. But I couldn't stop putting them in my mouth. 10 candy corn later, I was so jacked up, I thought I was going to have a stroke.

Ever hear your own heartbeat in your ears?

Now? Now I'm crashing hard. No surprise there. #1 ingredient: sugar. #2: corn syrup.

Yikes.

Lifecycle of a blog - a reflection

I don't post here much anymore, and even when I do, I rarely document my cooking. At one point, I was posting here daily about my kitchen activities. Especially in the summer. The farmer's market is bursting with fresh vegetables, fruits and herbs. How tasty and inspirational!

Yet here I sit, in silence.

The funny thing is that I still do cook good stuff, but mostly just on the weekends. Take last night for example. We had a lovely roasted pork tenderloin served on top of risotto with sweet corn and cherry tomatoes. It was delicious. I didn't even think to drag out my camera or write down one bit of what I was doing.

I have to ask myself, has the excitement of my blog worn off?

I believe it has. I still have a love affair with food. Maybe I just have less of an interest in sharing it online? Or perhaps it's that I want to spend what little of my free time I have, with my family or trying to catch up on sleep or relaxing?

Life has changed. With change comes adaptation.

When my daughter was born in March, I quickly realized I wouldn't be able to keep up with this blog in the manner I had. I promised myself I would try to post about my weekend cooking adventures. I failed miserably. I don't know why I felt this pressure to blog. I know it was all in my own head. This was supposed to be a creative outlet for me to share my love of cooking. I think I've finally come to the realization that now is not the time for that. I blog avidly for my daughter on her own little private blog and perhaps that's all I need as a creative outlet right now.

I think I'll continue to post here about life, but probably a lot less about food. I have no idea who would be interested in reading such drivel, but I just can't bring myself to kill this blog. I like having a journal I can look back on and a nice collection of my recipes. So for now, this blog will live on. Not in the fashion that it had, but in the way that it fits in with my life. Adapted.

Random

People that whistle or sing music in public piss me off. What's one of your peeves?

Capital One sucks

Let me preface this with saying that I've had my credit card with Capital one for about 9 years. In that time, I've never ONCE paid late. I charge a lot to it, every month and pay it off about 2-3 times a month. I understand how credit works and the necessary evil that revolving credit is. That being said, I suppose they don't make much money off me. I rarely carry a balance over to the next month. I don't transfer balances and I don't get cash advances.

I've enjoyed a fixed rate of 7.9% for 9 years on this card. That was, until yesterday. You see, I received a piece of mail, looking exactly like the daily junk mail I get from (insert any credit card company name here). It looks a lot like one of those privacy statements they send you annually, in a slightly oversized envelope, bulk postage, mass mailed. I decide to open it.

Here's what I'm treated to (I'm paraphrasing here):
Dear capital one cardholder,
Due to recent economic conditions, we've reviewed our cardholder's accounts. Due to the length of time you've held your account and the length of time you've had your interest rate, we are increasing your purchase rate, cash advance rate and default APR effective January 2009. New rates are: Purchases 17.9% variable, Cash advances 24.9% variable and default APR 29.9% variable. You can decline this change by calling the number listed, which will close your account as of May 14, 2009.

EXCUSE ME??????????

In other words:
Dear customer,
Due to our irresponsible lending practices, and despite being bailed out by your tax dollars, we've reviewed your longstanding good account. We've decided to penalize you without warning, against your will, and in a manner in which we hope you won't even notice. If you decide not to bend over and take it up the ass, please phone this automated phone line, as we don't value your long-term customer relationship with us enough to actually speak to you.
Sincerely yours,
Capital One

To which I only have this, hormonally-enraged response.

Dear Capital One,
FUCK YOU.
Sincerely yours,
Me

Hey how'd that happen?

I logged into foodbuzz this morning to post my recipes and photos from recent days. Lo and behold, my mug is on the home page. Check it out! Kinda neat ;)

Edit: I submitted the photo quite some time ago when I received the free spatula and apron. I was just a little surprised to see it up there today!

Finally IKEA

I briefly saw on the news this morning that IKEA is finally opening in Charlotte. This makes me happier then it probably should. Though I am sworn to never purchase more furniture from said IKEA (the husband forbids it), I am still smitten with the store and am all too thrilled to have one within a 2 hour drive. I have driven up to DC twice just to go to IKEA. That's a 4-5 hour drive folks.

IKEA is a very family-oriented store with a big kids section (that I've never spent any time in). IKEA Charlotte is said to open February 18th. Aside from having a very affordable price point, I like that IKEA really engineers their products with the environment in mind. Everything comes packed as compact as possible to maximize space. Most of the furniture is MDF or particle board with wood veneers or made of wood from fast growing trees. I don't know a whole lot about the company, but what I do know, I love and I am happy to be able to patronize them on a more regular basis.

Woooooooo Hooooooooo

I am proud to have participated in such a historical election.

I am proud to be bringing a baby into a world where a man like Obama can be president.

I am proud to be living in a country which, at this moment, is filled with hope and optimism.

And as always, I am proud to be an American.

Thank you to all who voted and spent time and energy in the process. Your efforts made a difference.

P.S.
Hey Elizabeth Dole, don't let the door hit you on your way out!!

The unexpected

Last night I watched a bad chick flick, Made of Honor, with a gal pal of mine. It had it's funny moments I suppose, but really it was pretty bad, way predictable. Well the saving grace from this movie came as an unexpected surprise.

About halfway through the movie, I recognized the waiter in one of the scenes, as a classmate from my high-school drama class. I squealed and yelled and my poor friend was beside herself. I quickly paused the movie and pulled out my photo album. I treated my friend to photos of him, myself and others from our high-school production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

I knew he was out in LA doing the acting gig with another one of my drama classmates. It's been a treat for me to watch the careers of my fellow thespians flourish. Though he's going by a different first name, I quickly recognized him and confirmed by watching the credits. I'm so proud of you Brian, Fred and Joyanna. It's a treat to see you on the big screen, especially when I'm not expecting it!

One's trash is another's treasure

This morning I left 30 minutes prior to my usual departure. As I stood on my front porch, bidding my hubby farewell for the day, I noticed two women rummaging through my recycling bin on the street curb. I watched for a moment. I was sure they saw us, but they said nothing and went on about it. I finally walked down my steps and walkway and asked, "Um hi, is there a reason you're going through my garbage?"

They were very much at ease and lady number one responded, "You always have blue bottles. Usually two bottles a week." She was right, I like to drink something other then flat boring water on occasion and I've taken to treating myself to some bubbly stuff I pick up at Trader Joe's. It's just mineral water, plain or flavored with lemon or lime, but it feels like a little treat and it's actually quite cheap when compared to, Perrier or Pelligrino.

Turns out lady number one collects blue glass and comes by my recycling bin every Friday morning to add to her collection, which will one day become her "glass wall". When I was in my early 20s, I also collected blue glass, so I understood her position. She went on to tell me about another neighbor who must have been quite a drinker that drank Skye Vodka and how she loved those bottles, but he must have gotten on the wagon because he doesn't have them anymore. Odd to think what people would derive from digging through another's recycling bin.

Though I did feel a little exposed by strangers knowing what my household consumed, it was nice to meet some more neighbors. I think I'll even put my bottles in a separate bag for her from now on.

Oooh and rabbits, rabbits, rabbits...

For those of you who have been with my blog that long, Mark and I both messed it up this morning, but he remembered after saying, "Yeah snooze just once" hahaha. Happy October!

Oddball search terms

This weekend I was asked how people found my blog or where my readers come from. Every once in awhile I look at my blog’s traffic keyword search terms. They always provide a laugh. Where 90% of the traffic is from food specific, restaurants, recipe or cooking method searches, I always get quite a few puzzling ones. I thought I’d share some of the recent oddballs for your enjoyment. My responses are in parenthesis.

what do you eat for lunch ( I got several variations of this one: She, me, I)
frittata keeps for (until it gets that slimy milky stuff on it)
laker girl turbo jam (glad I’m not the only one annoyed by her)
marmalade gumdrops find the light (I just have no response to this one except to say maybe they were SAVED?)
why the birds sing (Aw I can’t wait to go skydiving again)
flutterby italian jewelry (must be a store name)
hair peases (I have to assume this is a misspelling, but they must have though WTF when my site popped up haha)
happy burned toast (burned toast is never happy)
hanna on the hours (hmmm)
illiterate style writing (I’ll try not to take this personally)
marmalade gumdrops durham (seriously, what is up with all the marmalade gumdrop searches?)
peanut butter happy (now we’re talking)
plant with a happy name (A GLADiola?)
tabbouleh gone bad in fridge (when it’s growing hair)
totino's pizza rolls + preheat (these things are as easy as it comes, I can’t fathom searching any info out on them)
trick out my camry (Why would you do that, just WHY??????)
what do indians typically have for lunch (I honestly don’t know, but there’s a person in my office that eats curry at least twice a week and it stinks up the entire floor)

Thanks Foodbuzz!

Last night after a long day at work, a lengthy walk around Duke's Campus and dinner with a friend, I came home to a large envelope stuffed in my mailbox. Enclosed was a very nice quality chef's apron and spatula from my friends at Foodbuzz. I loved it so much, I had to try it on, start dreaming up my next recipe and snap a photo to share! Thanks Foodbuzz. If you haven't checked out the foodie community at Foodbuzz yet, you're missing out. Tons of great people, photos, recipes and restaurant reviews to be had. Swing by when you get a chance!

Taking candy from strangers

We're taught at an early age never to accept candy from strangers. Halloween excluded, I think I've adhered to that.

I have a dilemma folks.

Monday morning when I came into work, there was a large chocolate bar on my keyboard. Throughout the week, I've asked my various coworkers (the ones I know and talk to daily) as to whether or not they had donated this large bar of chocolate to me. Nobody knows where it came from.

I have a large stash of healthy snacks, emergency lunch items, etc. at my desk. This includes a chocolate bar (that I eat one sqaure at a time) and a box of chocolate teddy grahams. I finished off my chocolate bar yesterday. I finished off my teddy grahams today.

So I have this phantom emergency chocolate bar sitting on my desk, which most definitely came from a stranger. When the chocolate craving kicks in, do I:

A. Eat it
B. Eat it
or
C. Not eat it?

Today - A bit of a ramble

I suppose it's pretty hard for today not to stand out in American's minds. I suppose the terrorists got what they wanted in that regard. I'm taking a moment this morning to reflect on where I was and what I was doing 7 years ago today. It's not every day that I do that, but this one is very clear in my memory.

I was working in a high stress environment for a power-hungry, intimidated-by-my-age boss. Someone who liked to mother me. I had purchased a house a year prior and was living in a town 30 minutes from here, making a dreaded 45 minute commute each way daily. I was in a dysfunctional marriage of two years.

I thought I had life figured out and I was wrong. What a difference a few years makes.

And what about what actually happened that day? I remember mass confusion, the internet literally creeping to a near halt. Not being able to pull up cnn.com (except once) and trying desperately to find out what was going on, minute by minute. The phone lines were packed. Calls couldn't go through. The entire country was seemingly under attack and whoever it was, I'm sad to say they were getting it done. I remember going home that night, watching with the sick curiousity that one looks at horrible car crashes, and watching over and over again on television the unimaginable crash of the planes into the world trade center over and over again. I remember all the patriotism that followed. Much of that dissipated over the following months and seeing flags everywhere has now returned back to being uncommon.

I just want to say thank you to the men and women over in Afghanistan and Iraq, all the enlisted and all the veterans, that were willing to give their lives to protect so many. On this day I always think of you. I believe in you and I wish I had your courage.

So how about the rest of you? Do you remember where you were and what you were doing?

Workout video rant

So that I may eat massive quantities of food and remain under 500 pounds, I workout on a fairly regular basis. My routine these days alternates weekdays between a pregnancy workout (mostly strength training and yoga) and Turbo Jam (cardio). I've had the Turbo Jam dvd for about a year now. I bought it on amazon because I didn't want to have to subscribe to the beachbody.com thing so this is actually an older version of turbo jam.

Ladies, I'm sure many of you have seen this infomercial. The workout is good, it's fun, the time goes by fast and you definitely work up a sweat. The music isn't bad either. The personality of the host is bubbly and she's surrounded with an ethnically diverse group of varying fitness levels. Though the biggest gal is only probably 130 pounds so that kind of ticks me off...Sorry, rambling...

Anyways on to Chalene. She's a good motivator, she gives good cues so you always know what you should be doing and she's not overly obnoxious like some. Take Denise Austin for example, I have one of her videos that I have done exactly one time. I didn't even make it all the way through because she annoyed me sooooo much I nearly kicked my beautiful television. So considering I've been able to do the turbo jam video close to 200 times, that says a lot about Chalene.

But nobody is the perfect workout video host. The little quirky things they do that might not annoy you the first 7 or 8 times you do the video really start to grate on the nerves. Chalene – Why, oh why must you try to emulate snoop dogg when you say "yeah yeah baaaaaaybeeee" or "c'mon c'mon" and the grunts and "wamp" instead of "one". It's just not genuine and it makes me want to upper cut your face.
And then there's this move that she calls the "Howza Bro". She describes this as a move like the hawaiians do, why must you say this like a stoner surfer, over and over and over "Howza Braaaaa, Howza Braaaaa"?
Why does the former "Laker Girl" who's supposed to dance things up and get groovy with the moves only ever just look lost and bored? Why do you include your little skinny sister who annoys the crap out of me? Not only is she constantly smiling, full of energy, and skinny with hard abs like you, but she shakes her huge boobs at me instead of doing what you're having all the rest of us do for some of the video. What's that about?

Is all of this to motivate me to kick and punch harder? If so, I think it might be actually working.

Barefoot bathroom trips

Everyone remembers my post about the kitchen at work right? So you might be able to devise that both my fellow employees and our sanitation crew don't have the highest standards when it comes to things like, say, FILTH.

Yesterday I was entering the ladies room on my floor when I saw something incredibly disturbing. Let me preface this with some background. You've seen photos of the kitchen. The bathroom is no better. Actually, it has the nice odor to add to the actual visible dirt. There's always pools of water all over the counter and floor (despite our possessed automatic paper towel dispenser).

There was a lady exiting the bathroom barefoot. We're not talking socks here, I'm talking plain old naked feet. For my coworkers that read my blog, NO it was not Hula Hoop Girl. This was one of the few I considered might be normal here. We all like to take our shoes off at our desks, well at least I do. Never in a million years would I leave my office barefoot. You'd have to drag me kicking and screaming to enter the bathroom without shoes.

Now at home, I never wear shoes, I don't like em, but in a public BATHROOM???? Am I the only one that thinks this completely bizarre?

Burnt toast in RTP?

I know I have some readers that either live or work in Research Triangle Park. I have been working here for over a year and occasionally some mornings, as soon as I exit the Durham Freeway, I smell burned toast. It's not my car. I can smell it when I get out at work. Anyone know what's up with the burnt toast in RTP? It's been particularly strong a couple of days this week. And yes I smelled this prior to having a spidey-sense of smell :)